


laugh forever.

by falconeggs



Category: RuPaul's Drag Race RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe, Fluff, M/M, Time Skips, its seriously just fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 13:28:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13147692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/falconeggs/pseuds/falconeggs
Summary: There was always a moment of anxiety before they were face to face. Was this all in their heads? Would it be different than their phone conversations? And it was different, but only because it was better. Katya got to see Trixie's flailing arms with every wild laugh. Trixie reveled in the way Katya would hit her arm at a particularly heinous joke that left her wheezing.or,happy little glances.





	laugh forever.

**Author's Note:**

> hi! this is my first fic for trixie and katya. it’s just a fluffy little thing that’s far too romantic and a bad attempt at humor. i have no idea how it got so long, it kinda got away from me. i took some liberties with how drag race is filmed, and made up some nondescript drag characters. this wasn’t beta read, any and all mistakes are my own. i hope you enjoy reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it!

They met at a gig.

Trixie was young, but she wasn't new. She had experience, poise, confidence, and a unique style that more and more people were starting to understand and enjoy. Her name was quickly being passed around as someone to keep an eye out for. She'd moved to California, knowing it's where she's always belonged, but spent very little time there before picking up and going on the road to spread her name like it was the word of Jesus.

Katya wouldn't have considered herself to be young or new. She was practiced in her craft, having taken handful years to carefully select eclectic pieces and perfect her makeup skills. But the confidence she exuded on stage was a mask, a distraction technique to pull her from her seemingly infinite demons. She used to use drugs to quiet the loud screams of her unworthiness that only came from her own head. That chapter was done, and the next was already a few steady pages in. She was focused on herself, and growing into something far more productive than a quivering, anxious mess.

Trixie was in Boston, letting the east coast know that she was here, and that she was going to win their hearts. She spent three nights performing in Boston, meeting other queens, having the time of her life doing what she loved. It was nights like this that she scorned where she came from, because she was making it big-ish, despite the ignorance and fear and oppression that littered the path behind her. With every chant of her name, the power it once held over her grew into something better, more empowering.

It was in Boston that, for the first time, Trixie Mattel felt like the star she'd always dreamed of being. It was the first time her name was printed bigger than other queens, and the first time people had come a distance to see her.

On the third night, Trixie and Katya were booked at the same gig.

Katya recognized Trixie's name, but didn't really know much about her. Katya, on the other hand, rang exactly no bells in Trixie's mind, which was fine, and to be expected; Katya mostly stuck to the local scene these days, not really ready to stray too far from home just yet.

Trixie sat in her full face of makeup and undergarments in the dressing rooms, strumming at her guitar. It was old, and worn down, a gift from many years ago, bought with all the money that her mom could scrape together. She needed a new one, but she wasn't ready to part with it just yet. Her wig was still on the foam head, styled tall and curly, and her outfit was hung up on the rack behind her. She had some time before really needing to finish getting dressed, and her fingers had been itching to play.

Katya burst into the room with a flourish, her wig a little disheveled, but not at all looking haphazard. Her striking black dress had delicate embroidery woven in everywhere, and fit her form perfectly. Her makeup accentuated her features, and Trixie had to admit that she was a vision. Trixie didn't even mind the ridiculous costume jewelry she was wearing.

Katya stopped, and looked at Trixie for a moment, and Trixie looked right back at her, not stopping her strumming. Katya flashed a wide smile, and, god, Trixie had never seen a smile like that before. It actually made her practiced fingers falter.

"You're really good," Katya complimented, gesturing with a fan at the guitar in Trixie's lap.

"Thank you," Trixie said, feeling a little bashful for no reason. She'd been playing guitar for as long as she could remember, and she knew she was talented. Why did she suddenly feel like she was playing for the first time?

"Do you play in your set?" Katya asked, finally taking her eyes off Trixie and making her feel like she could breathe again. "I've never seen that before, that's actually really fucking cool." She started to tame her wig with her fingers, and Trixie couldn't take her eyes off of her.

"Uh, no, I don't play in my set," Trixie admitted, and she wasn't sure why she hadn't even thought of it as an option until this person brought it up. "Maybe I'll find a way to start working it in."

Katya looked away from the mirror she was leaning into, and straight at Trixie. She flashed her perfect teeth to the other queen and crossed the room, hand extended. "I'm Katya."

"Trixie Mattel," she said, taking Katya's hand and shaking it with a wide smile of your own.

"Your makeup is fucking nuts," Katya said, which only made Trixie smile even wider at her.

Trixie ended up finding really good excuses to stay in Boston for a few more days.

 

 

 

 

  
* * *

 

 

 

 

  
On their first official date, two days after they met and had been texting and talking nonstop since, they held hands as they sipped coffees, darting in and out of shops all morning.

They spent a majority of their time in this amazing vintage shop. It had all sorts of interesting knicknacks lining the shelves, with eclectic artwork and old vinyls. They reached a long row of antique porcelain dolls and had to stop at the mouth of the row.

"Does this store seem more like a haunted house to you, for some reason?" Trixie asked, and Katya snorted at the joke before pulling her down the aisle, looking at the creepy dolls with a personal mission to find the creepiest one to show to Trixie.

Trixie picked one up from the middle shelf, and looked at it with an expression that Katya couldn't quite place.

"Are you currently getting over your fear of dolls?" She asked, coming up to lean against Trixie's arm.

Trixie grinned and turned her head to look at Katya. "My Grammy used to have this doll," she explained. "And about a thousand others, but I remember this one. I think I got this dress made, actually, without realizing it."

Katya looked at the doll in her hands and laughed. "She looks like you," she teased. The doll was especially creepy, with overdrawn features that conveyed a perturbed expression, a big hat sewn into her stringy, unkempt, blonde hair, and a ruffled, pink dress that was lightly stained.

"Shut the fuck up," Trixie laughed, nudging Katya's side. "I used to steal them from her house, and hide them all around my house, like in the cupboards and stuff, because my step-dad hated them so much, he was fucking terrified of stuff like this. And every so often, he'd find one somewhere, and it would make my entire week. Like." She pantomimed opening cupboards and let out a loud, disgruntled yell.

Katya was gasping at the thought, clutching to Trixie's arm as she laughed. All Trixie could do was smile at her and try not to melt. She wanted to make Katya laugh forever.

Trixie put the doll down, and grabbed Katya's hand, pulling them out of the creepy doll section.

In the very back of the winding, cluttered shop were racks and racks of old clothing and fabulous displays of gaudy costume jewelry. And what could two queens do but have an impromptu fashion show? They picked out horrendous outfits for each other, ones that not even Katya would wear, leaving them laughing loudly in the back at each other. It was a quiet morning, and there most likely wasn't anyone else in the shop, and the cashier didn't tell them to shut the fuck up, so they didn't really care how boisterous they got.

When they left the store, they each left with a bag in hand. They found a matching set of massive, sparkly earrings that neither could pass up, which was fine, because there were two pairs. In Katya's bag was a short, red dress that showed off her legs just right and an off-white jacket with massive arms that hit her at the waist. Trixie diverged from her normal pink palate and got a mint green lace dress that accentuated her collarbones and every curve she could possibly pad.

Katya also bought a bag of tiny doll hands, deciding that it was the creepiest doll of all, because she thought they were hysterical. Trixie didn't admit to agreeing.

It wasn't until after Trixie had left Boston and moved onto her next city that she found the five, loose, little hands Katya had slipped into her bag. She sent a picture wearing the hands on the tips of her fingers.

 

 

 

 

  
* * *

 

 

 

 

  
Long distance sucked. It was a little more manageable when Trixie was traveling and working, because that made sense to both of them. With every text, every phone call, every picture sent between them, they were pulled closer together. Katya knew she was in love with Trixie before her Great American Tour even looped back west, and Trixie was not far behind her.

As much as they longed to be close to each other, as much as they whispered into their phones about their fingers missing the touch of the other's skin, they could manage. Something inside of both of them was okay with the distance, because Trixie was traveling.

But then, Trixie wasn't traveling anymore, she was at home, in Los Angeles. And Katya was in Boston. There was one, massive country between them, keeping them apart, and they could feel every mile in the way they missed each other's eyes and lips and hands.

Every missed call and delayed reply ripped them both up. It wasn't healthy for either of them to be apart like this, but how could they split up? The electric sputter that coursed through them with every errant thought in the other's direction was something that they'd never feel with anyone else.

 

 

 

 

  
* * *

 

 

 

 

  
They were curled up together, noses brushing, panting, sweating, catching each other's breaths as they caught their own. Katya glanced to the balcony attached to the bedroom, thinking about a cigarette, and deciding she liked being in Trixie's arms more, at least for now.

Katya's first visit to California had been a surprise, leaving Trixie a screeching child when she swung open her door to see her boyfriend there, luggage in arms. They're both thinking about that moment, even though it was a year ago.

Their visits had been scattered, too few and far between for either of their likings. They clung to those times, savoring every millisecond that they were actually at each other's sides. There was always a moment of anxiety before they were face to face. Was this all in their heads? Would it be different than their phone conversations? And it was different, but only because it was better. Katya got to see Trixie's flailing arms with every wild laugh. Trixie reveled in the way Katya would hit her arm at a particularly heinous joke that left her wheezing.

They were better together.

When Katya arrived that morning, leaping into Trixie's arms for a tight hug, she'd immediately opened up about wanting to move. Trixie couldn't take those words into her own mouth fast enough, planting kiss after kiss to Katya's lips in encouragement. It wasn't long before they were caught up in excitement and love and, mostly, each other. Which is how they landed in Trixie's bed, with Katya glancing to the balcony as Trixie peppered kisses to her hairline.

"Live with me," Trixie breathed out against Katya's skin. "Move in here."

Katya made sure she heard her right, picking her cheek up from Trixie's bare shoulder to look over her face. "Really?" She asked, hesitantly.

Trixie met her eyes easily, a soft, affectionate smile taking over her entire face. "Yeah," she said, easily. "I want you here, with all your weird art and psychology books and shit. All your stupid, patterned dresses in my closet and your stringy, shake-and-go's next to my amazing hair art. You can leave your copy of Contact in Boston, though."

"Bitch, don't make a joke!" Katya shouted, sitting up and gaping at Trixie. "Are you being serious right now? You want me to live here with you? In your apartment?"

"You can't fool me with that fake immigrant shit, I know English is your first language, bitch," Trixie said back, but her voice was still soft, and her smile was still on her lips. "I want you to live here, with me, in this apartment, yes."

A grin spread slowly onto Katya's face, and she crawled back into Trixie's waiting arms. She planted kisses to Trixie's lips as she nodded in agreement. "You know you love my high fashion choices," she mumbled against Trixie's lips.

"I thought we agreed to disagree on that?" She pinched Katya's side gently, and Katya squirmed in her arms, the pair of them giggling like idiots.

"Okay, fine," she said, her big smile still overtaking her features. "We can agree that they're gonna look really good next to your hundreds of dresses in the wide range of cotton candy to carnation."

"Whut in carnation?" Trixie joked in her best Wild West voice, leaving Katya gasping for air at the surprise.

It took another six months, but Katya finally returned to Boston with Trixie in tow to gather what she wanted to bring to their shared home.

 

 

 

 

  
* * *

 

 

 

 

  
A shared closet broadened both of their fashion horizons.

Admittedly, Katya's dresses grew on Trixie, especially when she was up close and personal with Katya's train of thought when she actually purchased, altered, and even made her pieces. It made a lot more sense. She could appreciate the thought out quirkiness melding with high fashion that was Katya's wardrobe. She loved the Russian shtick immensely, mostly because she thought the accent was sexy. She definitely loved her flexibility, and how much she loved to flaunt it. Trixie even loved her weird song choices and terrible dance moves.

Katya learned to love every aspect of the Trixie Mattel experience, too. She adored everything about Trixie's style, anyway, and her respect only increased when she could see it all up close. She loved her over dramatic paint that only got bigger and bolder as time passed. She loved all of the stupidly girly pink in their drag closet, and she loved how every item was hand picked and customized for Trixie. She loved when Trixie started to play guitar and sing in her shows, her clear baritone plucking Katya's heartstrings every time she heard it.

No, Trixie wasn't about to wear three patterns on her body at once any time soon, and Katya had no plans to toss out her red lipstick, but their influences on each other were obvious.

It was Katya, with her legs folded beneath her in a casual stretch, watching Trixie paint, asking her simply, "Why not bigger?" that got Trixie taking over exaggeration into unrealistic features, making her look even more dynamic and one-of-a-kind.

It was Trixie straddling Katya's lap, gluing down lace seamlessly, that sparked a new feminine confidence in her, something much gentler than she was used to, that left her a little breathless at the sight. She had no idea what a difference the little things made. It was a million little subtleties that Trixie liked to include that took Katya into the next level.

It was a combination of both that had Trixie pinning seven wigs together to make a heavy and preposterous mega-wig, and had Katya learning how do burn makeup and the like so she could tell narratives without ever saying a word.

Together, their styles were perfected and enhanced. They weren't as afraid to step out of their comfort zones together. They weren't so afraid of the next steps anymore.

 

 

 

 

  
* * *

 

 

 

 

 

Quiet nights in we're getting rarer, not that it was anything to complain about. They liked being busy, they liked performing, especially the few times a month they performed together. As much fun as it was to be E-List celebrities, it was really nice to just sit on the couch together in sweatpants with snacks on the coffee table in front of them. They flipped through channels, landing on a rerun from the most recent season of Drag Race, as of it wasn’t something they both wanted to watch. They watched together, a running commentary on every aspect of the show firing back and forth between them, making each other laugh harder than the show was.

"What if I auditioned?" Trixie asked, when it went to commercial just before the runway looks. She looked over to Katya with her entire body, almost expectantly.

"Do you want to audition?" Katya asked, raising a brow. Every drag queen had thought about it at least once, Katya knew that, but Trixie had never made any inclination towards it. Trixie shrugged, looking down at her hands, suddenly embarrassed. "Hey, don't get like that." Katya leaned over and took Trixie's hands in her own, trying to pull her out of her own head in a very strange role reversal.

"I've sort of hit a plateau with my career," Trixie explained, not having to fight through opening up to Katya anymore. She trusted her. "And there's a weird respect thing about it. Like, some queens don't take me seriously because I haven't been on the show."

"Have you auditioned before?" Katya asked, realizing that she didn't actually know the answer.

Trixie shook her head. "No," she said. "I haven't really thought I was good enough to until recently." And that had everything to do with Katya, which was an unspoken fact they both knew.

"You should, because you are," Katya agreed with a nod. "I did, like two years ago. I got a callback, too, but I, obviously, didn't make the final cut."

"I didn't know you auditioned," Trixie said, leaning back a little in surprise. "Do you still have the tape?" Katya very pointedly didn't say anything. "Oh, bitch."

"No," Katya said, firmly, pointing her finger at Trixie and scooting further from her.

"Oh, bitch!" Trixie said, louder, sitting up excitedly and leaning towards Katya. "You are so showing me!"

It went back and forth like this for a while, ending in Trixie coaxing the video from Katya's laptop after roughly a million little kisses and heartfelt promises not to judge her.

It was a great tape, but there was something about it all that was a little bit off. She was beautiful, and funny, and bendy, and her looks were good, especially considering it was from a few years back. It was great, and if it were Trixie Mattel's Drag Race, she would have not only made the season, but won it and every other season. It's probably a good thing that it's not Trixie's Drag Race.

"It's not you," Trixie decides. "Like, you're this pretty, funny, fishy girl in these weird outfits, but not my crazy, Russian girlfriend. You get what I mean?"

Katya nods slowly, tapping her chin. "I'm Katya, but I'm not Katya," she said, with an added flourish of her hand, her voice switching to the dramatic accent with the final word.

"Exactly," Trixie agreed. She looked over Katya for a long moment before grinning and nodding. "I'm auditioning. And you are, too. We're just gonna be ourselves and we're gonna be the first girls to be confirmed for next season because they're just so blown away by us."

Trixie's enthusiasm was contagious.

They actually put effort in. Like, way more effort than they'd expected. They stood in their shared closet together, tugging at garments, dreaming of being side by side in the top three, agreeing that they'd be fine if the other won. It didn't matter which of them one, so long as it was one or the other.

They worked together to put together outfits and show each other's ranges. They even went so far as to film in different locations for each of them, just so that they wouldn't be associated with each other's act. They didn't want their relationship to be the reason they did or didn't get on the show.

Katya's got submitted first. She introduced herself in perfect Russian and continued on for sometime, knowing to edit in subtitles later. As she spoke about herself in Russian, the camera panned out on her going into a slow split.

"Welcome to Katya's Terrordome," she concluded her introduction in accented English, and followed it up with an uncomfortable smile that had Trixie laughing loudly behind the camera.

Her makeup looked spectacular and her wigs were superb and her outfits were different individually, but perfectly summed up everything that made up Katya. Every joke was funny and well placed, and every song choice was silly and thoughtful. Trixie submitted it because it was perfect, any additions would have been too much, and because Katya was going to have a nervous breakdown if it didn't get sent out soon.

Trixie's was submitted a week later. The video started with her, out of drag, being filmed from a distance stealing a cushion from a couch on the side of the road, then cut to shots of her carving into it to make a spectacular set of hip pads, which she used in every look she showed off in her audition tape. Her makeup was big and crazy, and her hair was even bigger and crazier. Her outfits ranged from shy sweetheart, to silly cowgirl, to plastic slut fantasy, with pink being the main and obvious focus. She sang a parody song she wrote about Drag Race for the tape, accompanying herself on the new guitar Katya had surprised her with a year ago.

They sat around, biting their nails for exactly nine days before they both got callbacks. And then, they were called back again, and then again. They were asked to come up with looks and asked about various queens they had and hadn't heard of.

They weren't asked about each other in any of the callbacks they went to. They were asked questions about almost every other queen they knew, but not about each other .

"That's weird, right?" Katya asked once they realized this.

"No," Trixie decided, not sounding too sure of herself. "RuPaul knows everything. And it's not like it's really a secret that we're together."

It wasn't a secret at all. Anyone mildly close to either of them knew that they were in a relationship. But a quick scan of their public social media showed no romantic interactions between them. It was all pictures of them performing together, or out and about, but nothing hinting at a romantic relationship.

RuPaul knows everything, so she had to know that they were a couple.

They had another callback each before getting the call that they were cast on the newest season of RuPaul's Drag Race. They weren't asked about each other in that last callback, either.

 

 

 

 

  
* * *

 

 

 

 

  
It's four days before Trixie and Katya start filming. They decided to enjoy the last few moments of quiet together before they get thrown to the wolves. They say in opposite ends of the couch, their feet touching between them in a sweetly intimate moment. They each had a bowl of ice cream in their laps, and they were talking about all the possibilities of what was to come.

"So, what do we say about us?" Trixie finally asked the question that had been on their minds since they got cast. She said it around a mouthful of salted caramel.

Katya thought for a minute, sucking on her spoon absentmindedly. "If someone asks, we should be honest," she said.

Trixie nodded. "Of course," she agreed. "I'm not, like, ashamed to be seen with you or anything."

Katya rolled her eyes. "But do we bring it up?" She asked back, raising her brows in an absolutely adorable way.

"I'm not gonna," Trixie said. "Because it's not RuPaul's Boyfriend Getaway, it's a competition, and whether or not we're together shouldn't matter, right?"

"Right," Katya agreed easily. "But, like. We're gonna be in that room together until we're in top three with some other girl who won't win, and I probably won't be able to stay away from you."

Trixie laughed. "I'll bring my taser in case you get too close," she teases. "I'm not saying that we ignore each other. Bitch, I'm picking you as my teammate for everything."

"Okay, okay," Katya waved her off. "So just be us in a professional setting. No making out in the Untucked lounge, or jerking each other off in the clothing racks."

Trixie pointed her spoon at her. "Exactly," she said. "God, you just get me." It was half a joke, and half serious, because it felt like Katya could read her mind sometimes. Katya made a face and a full body shutter, which make Trixie burst out into her shrieking laughter all over again, and they were onto he next topic of terrible runway ideas.

 

 

 

 

  
* * *

 

 

 

 

  
Katya was the third queen to walk into the workroom. She was in a tight, white ensemble with black faux fur shrouding her head, torso, and tops of her boots. Her eyes were smoked all the way out, and her lips are deep red and overdrawn. She looked striking and almost scary, like the kind of spy woman James Bond would fall in love with. She greeted the room in Russian, posing to the best of her ability. One of the other two queens squealed recognition, and Katya recognized her, too. She gives them both air kisses and compliments them genuinely.

Trixie burst in four queens down the line, with her big, Dolly Parton hair and flowy, pink dress. Her makeup was dramatic and angular, and her heels were higher than any other girl's, making her tower over most of them. More queens knew who Trixie was, gasping at her entrance and tittering excitedly when she came over to greet everyone.

They couldn't help themselves. Katya and Trixie were quick to swoop each other into a tight hug, having not seen each other since two days before, and the excitement in the room being all too contagious.

Everyone else thought it was sweet that the best friends had each other for the race.

 

 

 

 

  
* * *

 

 

 

 

  
Two queens have gone home, and the pressure was starting to set in.

Katya looked around the room at everyone's outfits that they're putting together for the runway, then back at hers, and she could see, very clearly, that she was not doing what everyone else was doing. She wasn't going big enough, or glam enough, or elegant enough. In fact, she was going in a completely different direction. With the challenge not going exactly the way she'd wanted, she knew her runway had to be amazing, and it just wasn't.

She went over to her rack of clothes to try and find something else, but there was nothing. Nothing suited the look, nothing was right, and Katya wasn't right for Drag Race. This was a mistake. She was going to go home. She deserved to go home

Just as her thoughts started to settle in, pricking away in her eyes and tearing away at her mind, Trixie found her hiding in her rack.

"Hey," she said in a gentle voice, the way she would at home if Katya were freaking out. Katya didn't know how much she missed that voice until she heard it. Trixie put a hand on Katya's arm, trying to anchor her back to the ground and out of her head. "Katya, talk to me. What's going on?"

"My look isn't good enough," Katya said, quietly, wiping her eyes on her sleeve, trying not to look at Trixie. "Everyone's look is so gorgeous and perfect and mine isn't, and it's, like, the opposite of what everyone else is doing."

"Stop," Trixie said, trying to catch Katya's eyes. "Hey, Kat, look at me." Katya listened, her eyes finding Trixie's. "You're not anyone else in this room. You're not Trixie Mattel or Krystal Blue or Persephone. You're Katya. You wear weird stuff that's the opposite of what anyone else would wear and you look like a fucking rockstar in it. What's the issue?"

"It's not good, Trix," she whispered. Trixie could see the crippling fear in her eyes, and hated it. "It's not good enough for here, Michelle is gonna tear into me, I know it."

"Show me," Trixie said, dragging Katya back to her station by the hand.

As soon as they were by her mannequin, Katya was tugging on the embellished fabric. "It's too grunge-y, too casual," she worried softly, her eyes scanning the room, landing on Trixie's mannequin, the next station over. "Even your look is super glam, Trix, they're gonna send me home and I'm gonna look like a complete idiot on national television."

"Shut up," Trixie demanded, flinging an arm around Katya to pull her close. "So it's grunge-y, oh well. It could fit the theme in its own way, and you're gonna look amazing in it."

Trixie pulled away from Katya to get a closer look at the garment. She circled it, then went to Katya's rack, finding a skirt that would take the dress into a more evening gown appearance. She slid it over the dress and slipped it between layers of fabric, stepping back. "Pin it in place, and wear your boots," she said. "Not the heels. If you're going grunge eleganza extravaganza, you better do it, bitch. You should distress it a little, too."

Katya stepped back to the dress she'd been distancing herself from and started to adjust it until she thought it was somewhat close to right. She looked at Trixie, who prompted her silently to take a deep breath. "Okay, yeah," she breathed with a nod. "This'll work."

Trixie gave her a wide smile. "Which wig are you wearing?" She asked, tearing her eyes away from her love to look at the collection of wild wigs Katya had brought.

"The shake-and-go you hate," Katya joked, already feeling herself again.

Trixie whipped her head to Katya, narrowing her eyes. "If they don't send you home for that wig, I will," she threatened, pointing a finger at Katya.

The older queen moved over to her wigs and picked one up carefully. "I was going to go with this one," she said. It's a newer one she splurged on for Drag Race, with a perfect honey blonde color and big, defined waves that spread out everywhere.

Trixie nodded in agreement and stepped to Katya's side.

"You belong here," Trixie promised softly. "You're gonna look amazing, like you always do in your crazy costumes and your stupid, hand jewelry, and you're not even going to lip sync tonight. You're amazing." She rested her cheek on Katya's shoulder gently, forgetting about everyone else in the room, including the camera crew. It was just them, in their own little world.

"I'm so glad you're here with me," Katya said, quietly. She turned and pulled Trixie into a tight hug, which Trixie was quick to return. Katya could feel her confidence start to restore within Trixie's arms.

"Okay," Trixie said as she started to let go of Katya. "I'm gonna go work on a dress that Michelle won't read to filth now." She flashed Katya a cheeky smile as she stepped away, leaving Katya laughing loudly.

It was a sweet moment, timed perfectly, and caught completely on film. When the episode actually ended up airing, it made Trixie and Katya the two biggest fan favorites of the competition.

Not only did Katya not lip sync, she made top looks on the runway. Michelle had gasped audibly when Katya walked on stage. Ru had never smiled so widely at her before. The judges praised her, quite loudly, on her bold choice to stray from everyone else's interpretation, which made Trixie beam with pride.

 

 

 

 

  
* * *

 

 

 

 

  
They make it into top five. Unlike a few others who hadn't made it as far, the pair were there because of their talent and passion, and not through mind games. They had each other to cut through the bullshit, and their alliance only got them further into the competition. At this point, everyone could see that the bond between Trixie and Katya was an advantage, but no one had complained about it. At least, no one had complained about it to their faces.

There were no more meltdowns from either Katya or Trixie. They were strong and confident, looking to each other for occasional guidance and, mostly, to make each other (and their audience) laugh. It wasn't to be said for other queens, though. A lot of tears were shed in the workroom over looks that weren't right, and Katya was always there to help, dragging Trixie with her so she could add her two cents, too. They weren't afraid to help other queens, because they were now unshakable in their confidence.

By the time the top five episode aired, there were already memes in circulation of Katya yelling wildly for "TRACY!!" across the workroom, or Trixie prancing around in Katya's most ridiculous wig that looked almost normal on Katya and less so on an out-of-drag Trixie. More than being fan favorites, they were praised highly by the judges for their creativity and being able to find diversity while staying within their brand. Their comedy was always on target, and their looks were strong and memorable. They were top contenders, with the main question on the viewer's mind being who they liked more between the newly iconic duo.

It's obvious, in the Untucked lounge after the runway, that Trixie won the most recent challenge, and that she, and Katya, will be moving onto the next round. Both of their runway looks had the distinguished panel of judges gagging, but Trixie was breathtaking, moreso than she had been so far in the competition. The commercials they had done for the challenge were spot on, but Trixie's was already in the hall of fame, every beat and every word instantly iconic. The other three sit nervously, unsure of who will be safe and who will be lip syncing.

Katya had only lip synced once, and it was an easy domination. She swept the floor with her competition with her big, beautiful smile on the entire time. Trixie hasn't landed in the bottom three once, proving she was the stiffest competition of the season. Katya was teasing her relentlessly about it, knowing how badly Trixie wanted to show off.

The girls have gotten close after the past few weeks, especially now that they've whittled it down to the top five. They're all friends now, officially, sharing silly jokes and secrets with each other. This experience created a lifelong bond between the girls in the room, and the ones who'd already left. Trixie and Katya swerved away from most of the drama throughout the filming, luckily, because some of it had been nasty, and incredibly fun to watch on the sidelines. Now, it was easy and friendly and the most fun the both of them have had in a very long time.

They've sat on the couch now for a while, at the tail end of their one drink they're given. Estelle Andre is sitting between Trixie and Katya, which neither of them actually mind too much. They're both thinking Estelle is going home tonight. Her challenge wasn't bad, but it wasn't as good as everyone else's, and her runway looks hadn't been quite to par with anyone else's throughout the show. Plus, if she had to lip sync against Persephone or Dainty Dee, she wouldn't make it out alive.

The conversation flows back and forth between the five of them, easily weaving though jokes and emotional moments. Persephone somehow lands on the topic of relationships, and her lack thereof. Dainty and Estelle were nodding in agreement, because Seph was was preaching to the choir.

"It feels like I always have to hide a part of myself with a partner," she said. "And I'm tired of doing that, I'm so tired of giving up a part of myself for someone else. But I'm just as tired of being so damn lonely. I have to choose between being lonely and being fake?" Estelle nodded in agreement as Trixie quietly took the last sips of her drink. "I'm just looking for a man with a nice body, a good sense of humor, and who doesn't care about me doing drag."

"I used to have that problem," Katya said, sympathizing while having a flashback of every failed relationship. "Just because it's not happening now doesn't mean it never will." She reached out and extended a hand to Persephone with a smile, and the other queen took it, smiling right back. "You'll find someone. Honestly? Date another drag queen. We all go through the same issues with dating, and there's a million of us and everyone is so different. You'll find someone out there." She said it with so much confidence, Trixie couldn't help but to beam at her.

"Date a drag queen," Persephone mulled over. She leaned back into her own couch, pulling her hand free from Katya's sweaty one and wiping it off.

"Are you dating a drag queen?" Estelle asked, turning fully to look at Katya.

Katya glanced at Trixie over Estelle's shoulder, then nodded, a small grin spreading out. "Yeah," she confirmed. "It's the best."

"Who?" Dainty asked, leaning in like it was the hottest gossip she'd heard in weeks. It probably was, too. "Is it someone we'd know?" She purses her lips around her straw and sipped pointedly.

Katya sputtered a laugh, and Trixie threw her head back in tandem. "Yeah, you definitely know her," Katya confirmed. She looked over at Trixie, who raised where her natural brows should have been.

"Untucked Exclusive?" Trixie teased. "Are we having a big Untucked Exclusive moment?"

Katya laughed, and so did everyone else, but all Trixie could focus on was Katya. Her heart was racing, and her hands started to tremble, and she wasn't really sure why.

"Tracy over here is my woman," Katya finally admitted in her Barbara voice, gesturing around Estelle to Trixie.

It felt really good to hear Katya say that, no matter how stupid it sounded.

There was a big laugh in the room, but Trixie and Katya weren't laughing, which made everyone else stop.

Estelle started to look back and forth between them, her wig flipping around as she did so. "Wait, you're serious?" She asked, completely surprised.

"Yeah," Trixie said with a nod and a smile, not making a joke, for once.

"We're goin' steady, as the kids say," Katya agreed.

There was a ripple of shock and disbelief in the room. Katya gets all the attention directed at her, because she's the one who dropped the truth bomb.

"How long?" Dainty asked, deciding that this was actually the hottest piece of gossip she'd have all year. "Is it new? Did it start here?"

Katya laughed and shook her head. "What? No," she said though giggles. "No, we've been together for, like, what? Two and a half years?" She looked at Trixie, who nodded in agreement.

"Living together for almost two," Trixie thought aloud. "Yeah, almost three years now. Wow. Time flies, huh?" She put her glass down and leaned back in her seat, looking to Katya with a faint smile on her face.

Estelle actually ended up getting up and moving to the other couch, suddenly feeling very weird about sitting between them. It's at the movement that Trixie noticed the crew sort of shuffling around uncomfortably. "We're not gonna, like," Trixie said to the crew. "Make out on the couch. I hate getting her red lipstick on me, especially when I have to go back out there and face Ru. If we wanted to, we woulda done it before anyone came in." But then, she noticed it's not just the camera guys, but the lighting and sound guys, too. "None of you figured out?" Her eyes scanned around the room, and even the producers were whispering into their walkie-talkies, like they did whenever anything major happened. "Oh my god, none of you knew?!"

Trixie's mouth dropped open in a surprised and overjoyed expression, having not known that this seemed to be such a big wrench. Katya is behind her, cackling, as if they'd planned this moment at home, on the couch, eight weeks ago.

"Does Mother know?" Katya asked, to which she didn't get an answer, so the duo assume that's a 'no'.

Trixie instantly felt bad for not saying anything earlier. Clearly, no one had expected something like this, and it's disturbing the normal flow. She got quiet, which Katya noticed, instantly. She put a hand on Trixie's shoulder, tethering each other back together.

"This is some good tv," Katya joked in another silly voice, which made Trixie smile. "And now, we're gonna get booked together until at least six months after our painfully devastating break up."

"So you're saying I should get used to your gross red lipstick on me?" She asked, teasingly. Katya grinned at Trixie, and nodded, almost innocently. Trixie made a face and looked away from her.

 

 

 

 

  
* * *

 

 

 

 

  
It was kind of nerve wracking, to stand in front of RuPaul herself after she'd heard about the bombshell in the lounge. They'd been standing side by side during critiques, but it felt strange to do so now, since the dynamic had changed. Ru was staring at them the entire time before the director called action, her hands folded neatly and her eyes narrowed slightly, as if she were trying to see if it were true. Katya averted her eyes, singing Russian pop songs to herself in her head, but Trixie full on stared right back at Ru, almost afraid to look away from her.

She condragulated Trixie on her win with her same, even face, saying Katya's name in the same breath when she proclaimed her safe. They took each each other's hands when they strutted to the back of the stage to watch the lip sync. They didn't let go, not even when Dainty joined them in the back, or when they watched Persephone pull a costume change during the number, promptly stomping the shit out of Estelle, or when Estelle came to hug them as she sashay'd away.

It just felt nice to hold hands again.

 

 

 

 

  
* * *

 

 

 

 

  
The season premiered before the finale was filmed. It was really weird to watch themselves on television. It felt like the editors left in every moment that Katya and Trixie were next to each other, just to tease the audience about their relationship before it was finally revealed. They had to admit, they were very sweet together on screen, and they could see why fans who didn't know that they were together would want them to be together. The attention and affirmations felt really nice.

Not being legally allowed to publicly comment on their longtime committed relationship was kind of a weird thing, but, apparently, it wasn't like they were very public, anyway. Their lives didn't really change until the taping of the finale.

 

 

 

 

  
* * *

 

 

 

 

  
The third queen in the top three was Persephone. Dainty had been so sure that Trixie was going to lip sync that she didn't bother to learn the words, and it sent her packing. So, standing sparkling on the other side of Trixie, Persephone earned her spot on the finale stage, right beside the new royal couple of drag, or so they had been recently dubbed.

There was a big, flourishing opening number with minimal choreography in the beginning with every queen from the season involved. They strutted their ultimate shimmering finale looks one by one in order of when they were eliminated, leaving the top three to strut out together with only RuPaul following them.

From there, the top three performed their individual numbers.

Persephone did a performance art piece for her namesake, telling a poetic and beautiful tale of the goddess of springtime becoming the queen of the underworld, with a costume change that didn't quite have the right effect. Still, it was gorgeous, and unlike anything ever done before. It was artistic and emotional and so well thought out. RuPaul was gasping and clutching her chest, but watching it backstage, Trixie and Katya could silently agree that their segments would be much livelier, and far more intricate.

After her was Trixie, who started her performance slowly. She played a sweet song she wrote on her guitar that Katya gave her, singing live about falling in love, with clear connotations towards her teammate. Their recently discovered and surprising love story had made Drag Race herstory, with them being the first couple to compete in the same season. Trixie's lovestruck lyrics were honest, and she sang proudly about how easy it was to be with her. With a surprise at the end of the first verse, throwing in a joke about how her girl's beard scratches her, the tempo picked up, and it quickly became something sillier and far more like them. Dancers came around and sold the rest of the song with Trixie, mimicking the outlandish and eccentric romantic moves she sang about. Eventually, her guitar was taken by a stage hand, and the song became a circus of a dance number, leaving every member of the audience in stitches and on their feet applauding when Trixie landed in a terrible split on the final note.

At the end, when the dancers cleared off the stage, and Trixie was left to the thunderous applause of the hundreds of people in the audience, she remembered Boston, and feeling like a star. The crowd was chanting her name, because they loved her, and they loved what she did. She remembered Boston, and how it changed her life forever.

From where she stood center stage, she turned to the wings, where she knew Katya stood waiting for her own number. Trixie blew her a kiss, her heart squeezing at the way Katya was laughing backstage, and how she could still see how much Katya loves her through it.

After a few more, terribly long moments on stage, Trixie was directed backstage and towards Katya. As she got closer to the wings, Katya skipped out to her, meeting her at the very edge for a tight hug, pulling Trixie into the wings. "That was amazing! You were everything! I don't even care that I have to follow that!" Katya cried right into Trixie's ear. "Fuck, I wish you would let me kiss you right now."

Trixie pulled back from her just enough to look over her face for a second. Katya looked so bright and beautiful, and Trixie fell in love with her all over again. She leaned in and kissed Katya gently, not caring about her red lipstick so much. Katya smiled into Trixie's lips, adjusting her arms to pull her in a little closer.

Before they could smudge their makeup too badly, they pulled back from each other. They let the chaos of the finale around them go and just let themselves have this little moment.

"I love you," Trixie said, quietly.

Katya beamed back at her, brighter than all the lights on stage. "I love you, too," she said. "That was so stupid, I loved every second of it."

Katya had heard the song before, but not complete with the backing, and she had definitely never seen it enhanced by the full performance. This had been a very far cry from Trixie writing the song in her underwear on the balcony while Katya smoked beside her. It sounded different from the twangy country voice Trixie had always used when singing it to make Katya laugh. If she were being honest, and she would, after they got home that night, Katya would admit that she preferred the version she'd heard at home, country twang and all.

They each spotted a camera pointed at them, filming the whole interaction, one from the stage and one from the wings. They shared a look, having almost forgotten what it was like to be filmed constantly, and they were glad they didn't talk about their relationship until they were closer to the end. They shared one last soft kiss, and pulled away from each other.

Trixie tugged on the lab coat embroidered with Katya's outlandishly long full name, stating she was a doctor of psychology. "This is interesting," she said. "Where have you been hiding this?"

Katya grinned as she looked down at her own name on her breast. "It's pretty nice, right?" She said, looking back up to Trixie. "We can play doctor later. Are you feeling love sick? I can take your temperature. Later. When we get home. Anally."

Trixie rolled her eyes. "Oh, thanks, Dr. Zamo," she said, sarcastically, but her smile still looking bolder than her makeup. "I didn't get where you were going with that joke."

Katya wheezed at her, and all Trixie could do was melt. Trixie started thinking about Boston, and standing in the creepy doll aisle with Katya. And then, all too soon, Katya was being pulled away from Trixie to start making her entrance. Trixie bid her good luck, waving goodbye, as if they were going to be split up for a long time.

A makeup artist tried to fix Katya's lipstick, but she wanted to keep the little pink smudges, wearing them proudly. The makeup artist ignored what she wanted, though, and blotted and reapplied the red.

Trixie wiped off the red from her lips on her own as soon as Katya was out of the wings and walking on stage.

To menacing classical music, Katya mouthed along to her own written piece about her anxiety, and her struggles through sobriety. Despite the topic and the backing music, her speech was hysterical. She spoke about herself as a patient, in a very clinical way. It was poetic, and poignant, and it poked fun at her in the every perfect way. Every word was so carefully selected, every moment had so much work poured into it. It was short, and sweet, and perfectly timed. When the spoken word was over, the music swelled, and a Russian aria began.

Katya lip synced her way through a condensed Russian opera while giving an exquisite ballet recital, which was actually more like gymnastics routine. She removed the physician's coat in a fluid motion, perfectly choreographed near the start. She showed off her flexibility in such a soft way, so unlike what people were used to seeing from her by now. It was gentle and impressive and absolutely magical. It also explained all of the beautiful prancing she had been doing for the last few weeks, which had been far more graceful than usual. And then, as Katya flew through the air with her legs spread as far as they could go, she landed on the ground in a full split on a downbeat, and everything changed. The lights, the music, even the way Katya's face looked was a complete change from how she'd been a split second before, and it had Trixie screaming in delight backstage with the audience.

It turned into something similar to a burlesque dance to a wildly inappropriate rap song sung in an old-timey style. Even with the quirkiness of her song choice and her dance moves, she exuded sexiness amongst the outrageous comedy. She commanded the stage, no one could tear their eyes off of her. It was Katya in a nutshell, and Trixie was so proud of her she could burst.

They were running into each other's arms again, but this time, it was Trixie yelling excitedly into Katya's ear.

 

 

 

 

  
* * *

 

 

 

 

  
"Three queens stand before me," RuPaul announced to the audience. "But only one can be crowned champion."

Persephone, Trixie, and Katya stood in a line, holding hands tightly. Katya could feel Trixie's hand trembling, but Katya felt weirdly calm. She knew what was about to happen. Katya had been expecting the moment when all of her nerves came to a head and she would end up having a mental breakdown on stage, but it never came. This, by far, had been the calmest Katya had been throughout the competition.

"The winner," RuPaul continued, taking dramatic pauses between ever two or three words. "Of this season of RuPaul's Drag Race is--."

There was a moment where everyone held their breath, just waiting for even the first consonant of the winner's name. Trixie was forcing herself not to close her eyes. She squeezed Katya's hand. God, how long was this moment going to last?

"Trixie Mattel!"

For a moment, she thought she was dreaming. Her name had just fallen out of RuPaul's mouth. She stared at the queen of queens, waiting for a Steve Harvey moment that didn't seem to be coming.

She dropped Persephone's hand, only to bring her own up to cover her mouth to try and keep herself from exploding.

She won. She actually fucking won.

Katya flung her arms around Trixie, jumping excitedly, cheering loudly right into Trixie's ear. Persephone allowed them a moment before hugging Trixie, too. She yelled a congratulations to the victor with a bright smile, and Trixie couldn't even function enough to say thank you. Time seemed to be functioning differently, or maybe joining the Winner's Circle gave her some sort of super powers, because everything slowed down, and it felt like she could see every individual face in the enormous room beaming right back at her.

She didn't cry, Trixie was never a big crier. She was overwhelmed, and she wasn't really processing anything, but she knew she wasn't crying. Katya was crying, though, and the only thing Trixie could focus on for a few moments was wiping her tears away. Katya hated it, and tried to push her hands away, laughing and crying at the same time, but Trixie kept dabbing anyway.

Katya and Persephone were directed to step away, and, for a second, Trixie was sure she was going to float away as soon as Katya's hand was no longer anchoring her to the stage. Her feet hit the glittering mark next to RuPaul, and time started to shift back to normal. She looked across the stage to Katya, who was just beaming at her, and copied her breaths, trying to calm herself down. Now was not the time for a freak out; she had to be the image of poise.

Ru reached up and placed Trixie's crown, a massive, glittering thing with little pink stones accenting the corners, on top of her long, pale wig. Her shoulders straightened, and her head was a little taller then. She felt like a queen. She was the queen. The massive audience was still chanting her name.

"Now prance, my queen!" RuPaul instructed, and Trixie didn't need to be asked twice.

Trixie walked her classic Barbie walk, but her face was nearly serene, rather than her big, over-dramatic smile. Her movements were slower, more calculated and far more elegant. Her jeweled pink dress flowed behind her, the long train extending her grace. She landed at the edge of the stage and posed, finally and genuinely smiling out to the audience as they called out to her.

A director waved Katya over to Trixie, but she was firm where she stood, not wanting to take a moment from Trixie's win. Not even when Trixie extended her hand and waved her over did she move her feet. It took Trixie leaving her mark in the stage and starting towards Katya that their magnetic bond kicked back into gear. Everything faded away when they were close enough to touch, lost in each other's eyes and smiles and arms.

Trixie wrapped her arms around Katya's middle, grinning at her like an absolute fool, but Katya had the same expression on her face as she looped her arms around Trixie's shoulders. The winner dipped them as she pulled Katya in for a kiss, and Katya manage to get the dramatic leg extension for the camera. It wasn't a very good kiss, they couldn't stop smiling into each other's lips, but it was the best kiss of Trixie's life.

 

 

 

 

  
* * *

 

 

 

 

  
"I knew Trixie was going to win," Katya bragged. "I could visualize in my mind's eye her being crowned the minute she turned her beady eyes on me and asked if she should audition. It did not surprise me in the slightest that she won." She slapped her hands on her knees emphatically as she spoke, then opened her fan with a flourish. "And she is the only person I'm okay with losing to. I love Persephone, but if she had won, I would have plotted a long-game revenge murder scheme that would have never gotten back to me.

"However, I do think my final performance was better than Trixie's, I have to admit. I thought it was a lot more intelligent and dynamic, and I wasn't relying on the talent of others to launch me to the top. And, she used a song about me to get her the win, but that's neither here nor there. She knows I'm watching her like a hawk for slip ups. I know where she sleeps. More importantly, I know where she keeps the crown."

 

 

 

 

  
* * *

 

 

 

 

  
Trixie's flight was delayed. Which was completely and totally unsurprising. With a week of extra cities tacked onto her tour last minute, she was already delayed in her triumphant return home. Katya missed the shit out of her already, but didn't complain at the extension of their separation. She could’ve, and Trixie would have ran home, but she didn’t. So, of course, it had to be pissing rain in Minneapolis, and Trixie's plane had to be grounded for an extra few hours.

"Don't worry about picking me up," Trixie had said, her voice tinny through the phone receiver. "It'll be late when I get in. I'll take an Uber home."

"It won't be that late," Katya had defended, wanting to see her as soon as she could.

"I'd land at two if we leave now," Trixie argued. "And that's not gonna fucking happen. Plus, you have your shoot in the morning, and I'm not gonna be responsible for you being late."

Katya couldn't help but smile, and promised she wouldn't wait up for her.

But that was much easier said than done. She did the dishes and changed the sheets on their bed and dumped the ashtray on the balcony. She organized her half of the drag closet, not wanting to touch Trixie's side for fear of disembowelment. She washed all of her makeup brushes and did some yoga and attempted a few pages of a book. And, still, with everything accomplished, the clock wasn't moving any faster. She willed the hands of time to push on a little quicker, but it didn't happen.

At an acceptable time, Katya washed her face and brushed her teeth. She laid in bed, and noticed, not for the first time, how empty it felt without her partner there to keep her warm. Her ceiling wasn't particularly riveting to look at, and the inside of her eyelids wasn't holding her attention too well. Not even sleep could pass the time. With a loud sigh, she pulled herself out of bed and padded to the couch.

It was quiet. The cars were passing less and less outside. The neighbor's distant music eventually quieted to nothing. Even the refrigerator stopped humming its song, leaving Katya to sit in silence on her phone. Weirdly, the last two hours on the couch, scrolling through social media and feeling her eyes slowly start to droop, were the quickest.

The lock turned and the door opened, and Katya felt relieved. Trixie looked tired, her whole body sagging under the weight of the tour. Her eyes looked sunken in and her clothes were a little wrinkled, but she was the most beautiful, transcendent sight Katya had ever gazed upon.

"Hey," Trixie greeted softly, a warm smile appearing on her face. "I told you not to wait up." She didn't actually sound upset that Katya had waited up.

"I couldn't sleep," the older queen admitted.

Trixie toed off her shoes and dropped her bags at the door. She locked up behind her, and was quickly at Katya's side on the couch. Their arms wrapped around each other in a long awaited embrace. They sunk into each other, breathing a tandem exhale of relief.

"God, I missed you," Trixie said. Her hands passed over Katya's body, rememorizing her after so many weeks apart. Katya smiled, kissing Trixie's cheekbone a few times, having missed the feeling of her warm skin against her lips.

 

 

 

 

  
* * *

 

 

 

 

They stood panting, catching their breath and smiling wide after a particularly lively number. They didn't do numbers together very often, but this was a special occasion. The audience was applauding loudly, and Trixie couldn't stop smiling at Katya across the stage.

She grabbed a microphone as Katya entertained the crowd for a moment with some of her signature, terrible dance moves. "Oh wow," she said, looking out to her audience. She adjusted her dress from where it had shifted in the performance. "If you liked that, you'll really like the girls who can actually do a decent lip sync, am I right?"

Katya laughed behind her as she grabbed her own microphone. "Yeah," she said, her voice starting to be picked up as she started to bring the microphone to her own lips. "We're the best warm up act in the west."

"That's why we do this," Trixie nodded. "I didn't win Drag Race for the game and fortune, I did it to hype up the less beautiful and successful queens." Trixie looked over to Katya and grinned at her. "Right, Katya?"

Katya laughed again with her whole body. "I'm leeching off you for the foreseeable future," she agreed, flipping open her fan and giving herself a slight breeze. It didn't help that much, the air was just too hot under all the lights. She crossed the stage to stand closer to Trixie. She was sweating, and wanted to take off the jacket she was wearing, but couldn't find it in her heart to change the look.

"Thank you so much for coming out tonight," Trixie said, stepping a little closer to the audience, and to Katya. "You guys are the real, actual reason we do this." Trixie switched her microphone to the other hand so that she could put her arm around Katya. "Since no one even knew that we were even a couple when we were on RuPaul's Best Friend Race," she carried on, tearing her eyes from her partner to address the audience. "I'm assuming none of you know that tonight is actually a very special night for us." The crowd seemed to be pleased that they were even on stage together, nonetheless touching and interacting.

"And since neither of us can get a night off, we decided to spend this special night together with you cunts," Katya agreed, leaning into Trixie's side. Trixie, and their audience, laughed.

"Tonight is our four year anniversary," Trixie admitted, and the audience seemed to love that, given the roar of excitement hurled towards the stage. She gave them a moment to quiet down, nodding as she beamed out to them. Her whole head turned to look at Katya, though, and she was looking at Trixie with big, lovestruck eyes that were making her melt. She got a little caught up in the moment, falling in love with Katya all over again.

"Yeah, four years with this half-dead mental patient," Trixie continued after she pulled her gaze from Katya to the audience. "Do you want to know how cute and romantic we are? We both these outfits on our first date."

They had argued, previously, about whether or not it was their first actual date. Katya considered the late night middle eastern cafe a few blocks from the theatre where they met to be their first date, but Trixie absolutely disagreed. There had been a third wheel, a buffer between them at the cafe who wasn't there when they sipped coffees in the antique store.

The couple on stage pulled apart to give a spin. Katya struck a pose that showed off how long as muscular the red dress made her legs look. She popped the collar on her jacket, and pointed to Trixie with her fan, who was twirling to show off the mint lace of her dress. They looked good, of course they did, but they felt even better in their silly, sentimental outfits.

"Miss Mattel here is even wearing a necklace with tiny hands on it to signify how much she loves my personal aesthetic," Katya teased.

Trixie looked down, then grabbed her necklace by one of the hands. "For extra points, these are actually the hands you bought on that first date and snuck into my bag," she admitted. "I hot glued them to this necklace and wore it for, like, half of that tour after I left Boston."

"This is that necklace?" Katya demanded, taking a surprised step back. "You still have this? This is so sentimental! This isn't that well made, I'm surprised it isn't broken."

"Almost broken," Trixie said with a nod and a look out to the audience. "I take care of my things, you know that. You're the perfect example; if I didn't take care of you, you'd probably be dead."

Katya laughed wildly at that, even though they both know it might actually be true. Four years had given them infinite opportunities to save each other.

"I want to tell you about the first time I ever met Trixie," Katya said to the audience, taking a step towards them as they cheered. Trixie and Katya liked keeping things private, for the most part, so their open sharing was a nice treat. "We were booked at the same gig in Boston. I was late, because I'm always late--."

"--Always late," Trixie interrupted, lifting a hand. "She is always late."

"--And she was sitting backstage, half ready, playing her guitar," Katya continued without even glancing back. "She had her makeup done, and she was corseted and padded to high heaven, but she didn't have a wig or a dress or shoes on. She was just plucking some old mountain person song better than I'd ever heard anyone play anything ever in my entire life, and I thought, 'this is the woman for me'." She turned her voice into a silly one, and Trixie laughed, like she always did. Katya looked to Trixie, and, not for the first time, couldn't believe how lucky she was to have her.

"Since I've been with her now for four years," Katya began again, peeling her eyes from her favorite person to look out to the crowd. "And, since I've been sharing a home with her for going on three years, I think I'm your local, resident expert on everything Trixie Mattel. I would be kind of a shitty expert if I didn't share exclusive secrets, right?"

The crowd cheered, phones out, ready to record any tender moment, or at least as close to a tender moment as they can publicly manage. Trixie rolled her eyes, but didn't interrupt, for once.

"Trixie Joeanne Elizabeth Mattel is a diverse queen for every mood," Katya spoke. "She's versatile, but not because she ever showed the judges versatility. Tonight's look is a wild departure from her usual soft core, pink on pink, flow-y nightgown realness."

Trixie laughed loudly before pressing her mic to her lips. "And this is just for nostalgia's sake," she interrupted. "I'll be back on my pool cover bullshit within the next twelve hours."

"She looks like a Barbie girl in a Barbie world, but that Barbie world looks like the Upside Down," Katya explained. "She is Eleven in her pink dress and a fabulous wig making jokes that manifest into the diseased slime that oozes out of everything. Her jokes? Her jokes are rotted. They are filthy. You think you know how disgusting and stupid she is, but you don't have to listen to the jokes that are too horrible for your ears. I do. Sometimes, this bitch will wake me up at five in the morning to tell me a joke she thought of that is so heinous, I actually wonder if I fell in love with a psychopath."

Trixie laughs her loud laugh through the whole thing, and she can't defend herself, because it's true. Katya has heard every joke that has crossed through Trixie's mind, and her mind could get dark. Luckily, Katya's mind was similarly lit, and she could always nearly catch the curveballs Trixie liked to throw.

"But, then, you get past the contradictory aesthetic/comedy combo, and you find a soulful singer-songwriter who makes you cry before she even sings a lyric," Katya continues. "She plays, what? Forty seven instruments? And she's good at everything she plays. She can transform any song into something totally different--."

"Something white," Trixie interrupted from behind Katya. "I can take any song and make it painfully white."

"She's also the worst interrupter," Katya continued, ignoring Trixie completely, which earned her a laugh.

"I am the worst--," she cut herself off, knowing she was interrupting again. "Sorry, keep going." Her voice switched to her airy, woman voice. "I love it when you talk about me." She flipped her hair over her shoulder and posed with a grin.

Katya looked back to her and smiled at her, not lowering her mic, as though she were about to say something and got a little lost. Trixie looked right back at her, her grin only growing.

"What?"

"Nothing, you're just really beautiful," Katya said quickly, and turned back to the audience, which had Trixie laughing. "She is really beautiful! Look at her! She's beautiful, and she knows it, she doesn't need me to tell her. I do anyway, because she laughs when I say it, and that stupid fucking laugh is my reason to live." She pointed over to Trixie with a glance. "She's confident, and it's contagious. She taught me how to be myself unapologetically, she's the reason I'm not afraid to do all the things I do." Katya smiled, knowing this was starting to get a little more serious, and not wanting to feel so somber. "Trixie changed my life, and everything in it, and I know I've been a better human in life and in general since we went on that date four years ago."

Trixie smiled at Katya from across the stage, her heart thundering as she replayed every word she'd just said in quick succession. It didn't matter how much time they were together or apart, or how many people were in the room, or even if people cared that much about their relationship. Trixie was better with Katya, too, that much was for sure.

"My turn?" Trixie asked, her brow raising expectantly, and her wide smile not faltering. Katya nodded at her, beaming right back. "Alright. So, once upon a time, I was on the first leg of my very first US tour, and in my third city of probably sixty, and this muscular yet fishy girl in the ugliest, stringiest shake-and-go wig came barging into the dressing room and told me I looked crazy and that I played guitar really well, and then she smiled at me. And she had these fucking huge, beautiful teeth and these eyes that made me want to punch myself in the face, and I thought, 'oh, this is not good. This is very bad'. And then, when I didn't think it could get any worse for me, she landed in a split after swinging around a pole and I decided I couldn't leave Boston for a few more days."

"I got so laid," Katya grinned.

"Yeah," Trixie laughed. "That's how special Katya was, I actually put out for her." There was an infinitely long and ever expanding list of things that Trixie wouldn't normally do for anyone but Katya, but most of it was too deeply personal to be shared on a stage to an audience of mildly to moderately drunk people.

"No one can make me laugh like Katya," Trixie continued, pacing slightly out of habit, but feeling the ache in her feet from her heels. "She is as weird as I am dark, and I really mean that. Who else is going to glue eyeballs to their forehead and then perform a fifteen minute Russian pop medley? You can not name another queen who will wear a nude paneled bodysuit to show of her titties, mismatched socks under her pumps, and zombie eye makeup all in one night and actually manage to pull it off, you simply can't. And I love that about her. I love it when she tries to explain all of these choices to me, and when she tries to get me to be interested in her weird shit." She looked over at Katya, who was grinning at her, showing off her gorgeous teeth, and she knew she wouldn't be able to keep going if she looked at Katya.

"Her looks are chaotic, but a quick peek into the Thunderdome of Terror that is Katya's mind actually explains a lot about why she does things the way she does," Trixie kept on. "It takes some deciphering, you know, you need a Rosetta Stone for a former-addict-turned-sewer-person in order to even start to have an understanding of what the fuck goes on in her Foster-riddled brain, but it's worth it. Because she's so smart, you guys, and there's always a really good reason behind every weird choice she makes. And as weird as she looks, she always looks so fucking incredible."

She could hear Katya cackling behind her, which made her turn to look at her silly, gorgeous form.

"I'm gonna get real for a second," Trixie said, gesturing with her hand towards Katya. "I'm gonna say some words I've heard roughly a million times, some words I have always sort of silently agreed with, but was never actually allowed to say during my reign."

There was a pause, and a few audience members whooped in anticipation.

"Katya was robbed."

There's a loud mix of laughter, cheering, and vague sounds of disagreement. Trixie is very firm in this belief.

"Shut up, you hag!" Katya exclaims loudly, laughing with the audience and making Trixie smile.

"I deserved to win, obviously," Trixie explained. "But Katya did, too, and she probably would have been a better queen than me. I'm too dry, I know I come off as mean a lot. She actually has some slivers of soul left in her decaying carcass. When she talks to you, she really cares about what you have to say, she knows how to make you feel like you're the only person in the room with her. Maybe that's just me, I'm usually the only person in the room with her. No one else can really bear to be in a room alone with her."

"Because of the smell," Katya agreed, and her cheeks had to be hurting by now from how hard and long she had been smiling at Trixie like that.

Trixie paused as the crowd laughed, allowing herself a moment to gaze at Katya. She told a lot of jokes at Katya's expense, she knew that. And Katya knew that Trixie loved her because of the jokes. It let her know that Trixie was thinking about her; it was weirdly comforting to be insulted in such a vulgar way all the time. When Katya wasn't being called old or weird, she knew she was in trouble. It was harsh, and Trixie was always harsh. Katya deserved better. Trixie could be better.

"I love the hell out of you," Trixie said. Katya's smile, somehow, got wider. "You're the best person I've ever met. I'm so lucky to have you in my life. I don't tell you enough how much you mean to me."

But Katya knew. She knew in the little glances Trixie thought she didn't see. She knew it in the quiet moments in the early morning, when it was just them breathing in the silence together. She knew it in the endless romantic surprises that Trixie came up with that left her breathless. She even knew it with every biting remark, every joke, and every breath. She knew Trixie loved her, she never needed to tell Katya with words.


End file.
